People always tell me that I need to find a good man…um…those two words don’t exist together in my world. Most women think they HAVE TO HAVE A MAN just to live, that’s bullshit. In my experience, I have never been able to depend on a guy for anything unless I paid him, men just disappoint me or break my heart, who needs that crap.
When I was with Robert, on top of working full-time, I was expected to clean house, cook favorite meals, do laundry for the both of us and his 12- year old son, they were total slobs which made things even worse, did all that hard work without any appreciation, although sometimes we would go out for dinner. If that is what a housewife does day-in and day-out every damn day, NO THANK YOU, don’t know why any woman in this day and age wanting to do that insanity, men should know how to handle basic household chores, with children learning at an early age. But if women choose that route, then more power to them, it’s not easy and their hard work is taken for granted. I was raised to pick-up after myself and learned how to cook macaroni & cheese and tuna helper when I was around 10 years-old, shortly after experimenting in baking, but perhaps having a single-working mother was the difference. It really irritates me when I see children throwing their stuff on the floor making the mother pick it up when they are perfectly able to do so, those kids grow up into lazy adults.
At this time, I am so used to living alone, doing what I want, when I want, how I want, not having to check in or getting someone’s approval and not worry about always looking pretty and constant womanly maintenance. I’ve always had difficulty sleeping when someone else is in the house, whether it’s a boyfriend and their kids or family, they are freakin making noise and disturbing my quiet-time. Another advantage of being single is that there is no daily drama.
Being in a relationship takes a lot of work and can be extremely emotional, even for the really good ones. Not having to cook is a bonus when I only want to have cereal or something easy, especially when I had a big or heavy lunch at work. Not feeling judged when snacking or enjoying a big ole bowl of ice cream.
It aggravates me when a woman can’t do or get something that is reasonable when her husband won’t approve….OMG….talk about a controlling asshole, there’s no way I would let that happen, but those are usually women who do not work and totally rely on their husbands for financial support…another HELL NO.
And when a woman can’t even drive in the snow or clear off her vehicle for that matter and HE has to take her to work…SERIOUSLY??? Perhaps I’m just jealous since I never had that luxury and had no choice but to drive in the cold icy fluffy mess. The only time I didn’t drive was when we had the snow blizzard in 2011 that was 14 inches deep, there was no way my little old Dodge Neon could take that on, I couldn’t even get out of my driveway. Although I was able to make it to work when the Ice Storm of 2007 hit, just had to take it very slowly & careful and plus only living over a mile away made it easier. I haven’t had any accidents due to bad weather…knock on wood. I remember a few years ago while getting off work at the bank and it had snowed all day, several of us were removing snow & ice, one young guy in his 20’s asked me if I needed help, I just laughed and said that I had it under control, thinking to myself that my trusty long-handled scraper/brush combo was older than him but I did help a few ladies who had little rinky dink scrapers. Another funny story is after a snowing, the bank hadn’t cleared off the 3 driveways which are all uphill or the parking lot yet, as I was going up one of the hills there was a fairly new Volvo stuck half-way up, but here my little Neon had no problem handling it, I couldn’t help but laugh…thank you front-wheel drive.
One thing I’m definitely NOT is a damsel in distress always needing to be rescued, stroking some guy’s ego then treating me as if I’m a dumb woman….OH HELL NO….but when a guy shows gentlemanly characteristics then I’m happy to oblige, which is rare in itself.
I suppose my independence started very young since I was an only child I had gotten so used to being alone. People wonder why I’m so jaded when it comes to men….hhhhmmm….because in my experience they are stupid. Those who have been married to the same person a long time can’t possibly understand my point of view, they either were lucky in finding ‘the one’ or settled for whoever.
Not all of my exes were total idiots and we have been able to remain as friends, a few want to try again but when they are stupid a 2nd time, that’s their last chance and I’m DONE. By the time I reached 40, my tolerance level for guy’s bullshit went way down and am definitely not afraid to tell them what exactly is on my mind.
Half of me hopes that I will actually find the man of my dreams but the other half has given up since all I ever meet are idiots, losers, users, liars and don’t forget the many who are trying to get back on their feet after a divorce, seriously, how long should that take, not years. I sure as hell don’t allow any abusers in any way. I am no longer buying their sad poor me stories anymore where my generosity has been taken advantage of way too many times, if you are not a REAL MAN, have a good job, self-confident, have your shit together in general, have a great sense of humor, is kind to animals and other people, accepting of others despite differences and not a damn idiot, don’t even bother talking to me, one red flag and you’re out buddy. And don’t ever ask me for money, I work hard for what I have, you are not a charity when you are perfectly able to help yourself.
My whole life all I ever wanted is to find a real relationship with true love, where there is mutual respect and understanding, not to mention tremendous rock my world attraction, but I don’t see that happening since that has never been my ‘normal’. So perhaps I’m just better off staying single, keep my heart locked up high in a tower surrounded by a tall stone wall with an alligator filled moat, have an occasional competent lucky lover as long as my beauty and libido last and not dwell on what or who I don’t have and enjoy my complete freedom in every aspect of living.
Although I’m not completely alone at night since my kitties Kally and Melly always sleep next to me and when I’m up too late, Kally will meow at me to get my attention, like she is saying, come on Ma, we are waiting for you.
